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There is something exciting about picking up the mail and finding a handwritten envelope among the bills and labeled circulars.  It portends something special.  There is no doubt that the anticipation of an invitation to a dinner party, cocktail party, christening, bar mitzvah or wedding is exciting.  The invitation is a form of flattery that you are being included in a special occasion, no matter how big or small.  It is the time to share a special occasion with friends and family.  And, it is the invitation that sets the scene.

In today's world of invitation availability, the selections are many and convey a great deal about the occasion.  Visit an invitation or stationery shop and the selection is almost overwhelming in terms of theme and personal expression.  Fortunately, Dallasites have much from which to choose.

Invitations had their beginnings with the French royalty, well-known for their fabulous fêtes at their royal chateaux.  The art of calligraphy, "hand-lettered" to them, became part of their social scene.  Many of the customs and etiquette of invitations that started then continue to the present day.  Invitations to a gala were hand-lettered and sent, usually by courier, in double envelopes to protect the inside envelope with the name of the intended guests.  Because of the calligrapher's ink that could smear, a tissue was inserted between the folds.  Sound familiar?  The centuries' old practice continues today with formal invitations to weddings and balls.  In most cases, the engraver's expertise has supplanted the calligrapher's.  It is the ultimate flattery, in the case of a small wedding, to receive a hand-calligraphered invitation, a custom still used by traditional families and brides.  Envelopes addressed in calligraphy are almost de rigueur for formal invitations today, although computerized facsimiles are frequently used for economy's sake.  We have a number of outstanding local calligraphers to share with our readers, such as Boo Owens of Custom Calligraphy and Susie-Melissa Cherry at Calligraphic Arts.  Our Source section on invitations has other suggestions.

Since the French and later the English aristocracy set us on our course of invitation etiquette, we must also mention the French terms still used on invitations.  Perhaps one of the reasons that responses to invitations are so neglected these days is the misunderstanding of R.S.V.P. (respondez si vous plait), which all our readers know means "please reply" or more literally "respond, if you please."  The other phrase used frequently is  pour memoire, which means "to remind."

We should also write on "the art of the reply" since it is so neglected.  It has become seemingly unnecessary as invitations are so casually put up on Facebook and other social media.  One only needs to have the personal experience of paying caterers for meals not eaten or empty places at a table, and the timely response to a party will become more serious.  Just a year ago, as our first issue was being sent, an Op-Ed piece in the New York Times appeared.  It caught our attention.  We have saved it and share it with our readers.  It is entitled: "It Is My Party and You Have to Answer."  Some of the responses to the piece had memorable gems, such as “Cyberspace, it appears, is redefining communications etiquette, or perhaps sanctioning the lack thereof.”  But, we divert --

Dallas has its very special parties, deb balls and weddings, and they all begin with the invitation and the wording, usually in the traditional mode, or sometimes cleverly worded in poem or prose.  Several of our better known shops specialize in traditional formal invitations, including Paper and Chocolate, Madison, Tiffany & Co., Campbell Stationers and Write Selection.  Their stock comes from the high quality printing companies, such as the respected Crane & Co., printers since colonial days and printers of our Revolutionary currency.  Tiffany & Co. has designed engraved invitations for presidents and celebrities since its founding in 1837.  William Arthur, The Printery and Bernard Maisner are also included among the top designer and printing companies, the latter two available exclusively at Madison and new on the Dallas scene.  The Printery, a Long Island company, is a descendent of the Island's Oyster Bay newspaper's shop and equipment. Their charming engraved notes for invitations and correspondence, with delicate tissue-lined envelopes, are indeed impressive in style.  Bernard Maisner is a New York celebrity calligrapher with artistic boxed sets of note paper and prestigious custom work.

We are also fortunate, when in doubt, to have a number of experts at local shops, such as Paper and Chocolate and Campbell Stationers,  to advise on printing style and etiquette.  Campbell Stationers, lovingly run by the same family since 1947, is advising their third and fourth generations of families for weddings and personal stationery. Yet, they concede the changes, although subtle, in formal invitations, especially in color of paper and engraving, in shapes and in ensembles of weekend events for the destination wedding.

Dallas also has a number of letterpress companies, such as Bell'Invito, available at Nest, Stanley Korshak and Neiman Marcus, which are being noticed far beyond this area.  The Paper and Chocolate experts note that young brides are ordering more letterpress invitations, which have caught on to enhance their individuality in this day of the mass-produced.  Unlike engraving, which is etched onto a copper plate, letterpress, the oldest and most versatile method of printing, is relief printing of text and image using a press and movable type, in which a raised surface is inked and then pressed onto a sheet of paper.  Ink touches only the top surface of the raised areas.

For a small dinner, tea or luncheon, the personal hand-written invitation on a stylish note card is proper and lovely. It could be an engraved card, perhaps with a monogram or motif.  There is always the obligatory listing of host and hostess, the honored guests, date, time, place and dress, plus the reply information, often on a separate card.  Please, no abbreviations.  It is frequently necessary to call with an invitation to dinner or luncheon so as to plan an exact number for the occasion.  After the telephone invitation and acceptance, the event's information can then be sent as a pour memoire.  We want to comment on the "reply if declining" as a sure way to have a poor handle on the expected number of attendees.

We can recommend that everyone have at their disposal a book of etiquette, such as Crane's Blue Book of Stationery or Emily Post's Etiquette.  It is amazing how many questions will come to mind, such as the addressing to couples with professional titles, to widows and to multiple members in the same family.  Another quick source is EmilyPost.com.

For casual and larger events, the local stationery shops have a vast selection of ready-designed invitations to fit all occasions, everything from a christening to a going-away party, one more enticing than another.  Perusing the availability of stock invitations at Needle in a Haystack, Write Selection and St. Michael's Women's Exchange may make you want to plan a party of every sort imaginable.  We especially like the invitations made by Odd Balls, Caspari and Anna Griffin.  Most frequently, the copy is printed in the wording and color that suits the occasion.  Meanwhile, fashions come and go.  Ribbons on invitations are now part of the most formal to the informal.  Crane's Imprintables and home color printers provide many opportunities for inexpensive, but tasteful, invitations.  The Print Shoppe on Lover's Lane is also an excellent source for printing expertise when the hostess is orchestrating the printing process.

No subject of invitations would be complete without the mention of the electronic invitations, such as Evite and Paperless Post.  Each is hugely popular, reflecting the times and the fast-paced electronic lives we live, but problems persist in lost and unopened emails.  As clever as we think Paperless Post is by emulating more traditional invitations, complete with optional envelope linings, there is nothing like having a beautiful invitation, hand-written, printed or engraved on well-designed and exquisite paper -- delivered by the postman -- that will become a keepsake of a special occasion.

Space prohibits our mentioning other talented calligraphers and designers for creative invitations who provide the WOW factor both for private parties and for the many non-profits that depend on cohesive theme and statement for their events.  We hope we can submit some creative invitations for Dallas charity events in the near future.  In the meanwhile, please visit our Source section on Invitations and Printing for a more complete list of designers and calligraphers.

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